omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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