careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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