two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
