I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
