Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft