I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
