It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
