So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
