Don't you send me to vm
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
