a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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