i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
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i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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