ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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