It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just high enough for therapy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
