So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
