do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
