im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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