Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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