Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This is my gift to your gina
Terrible idea I love it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
