I've blown a few things in my day
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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