She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
