i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
