No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize