I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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