I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
