There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize