In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
