He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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