I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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