Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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