And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
