David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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