i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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