Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
