marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
