Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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