Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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