watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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