there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
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Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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