put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize