She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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