glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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