i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
