Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She bit a glass in half.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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