I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
