were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
