I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
my poor anus
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
