would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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