We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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