Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
