Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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