It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
