I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
