This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
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don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
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I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
how drunk are you?
Several
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize