I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
